I've not had much luck with women recently. I thought things were going well with Anna-Nicole, but she hasn't returned my calls for a couple of weeks now, and I think I may have been dumped. And I was chatting to Britney the other day, and I may have let slip some remark about being able to spot a few split-ends. I'll admit, it wasn't the most diplomatic thing I've ever said, but I still think she over-reacted.Anyway, I read today that young people are still 'hung-up on their bodies' (news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/6376367.stm). This is troubling because I'm not sure which pretentious French expression to use in response: 'quelle surprise', 'quelle horreur', and 'plus ca change', all work extremely well for me in this context. I also learn that Radio 1 have a doctor, and this doctor, talking through the results of the survey last night on Radio 5, said that 1 in 4 women actually like the skinny male body shape, as exemplified by Jarvis Cocker or Preston. There are two possibilities here: either a) I only ever meet the other 3/4 of the female population, or b) the female respondents in this survey mentally transformed the question into 'Do you like Jarvis Cocker or Preston?'
Britney Spears Jarvis Cocker
8 comments:
At just over 6 feet and about 12 stone, I am considered a bit of a whippet. It interesting that people seem to think that it is absolutely fine to comment on the lack of meat on my bones ("Yea, it's alright for you, you skinny bastard..." That kind of thing.). If, however, I was carrying a few extra stone, I doubt it very much if they would poke fun at me to the same extent. Skinny people are fair game, fat people are a protected species. This is sizism. And I'm sick of it. What you reckon, Gordon? Am I right or am I right?
You're so right Neil.
This is what Sherlock Susan gets up to in her spare moments, Gordon: When you replied on the McDonald's thread that you didn't have a job until you were working with air traffic control patterns (i.e., after college) *and* you revealed on the physics paper thread that your bathroom light had blown out and two days running you had nevertheless pulled the cord, this is what I concluded: Gordon, like Stephen Hawking, is in a wheelchair. That's why he didn't have a job in his youth and that's why he was unable to just change the lightbulb (hence, pulling on the cord would have desired result).
Absolutely nothing wrong if so (one of my favorite movies is documentary about paraplegic rugby players --talk about a) guts and b) ability to pleasure women), but now I'm curious to know if I'm right. Or were you just a rich kid who never had to work? Or is it just that in England teenagers simply *don't* work because it's too hard to get work papers?
I know, I'm intrusive, but I write fiction and to me, every little bit of information missing larger bits to make sense of it suggest a hidden tale.
Ah, I'm afraid Sherlock Susan failed to spot the significance of the manner in which the bathroom bulb failed, with the glass of the bulb exploding out of the bayonet cap, leaving the metal cap welded into the smoking socket.
But the image of me in a wheelchair is definitely a fetching one. I shall use it as a source of pride and inspiration.
Henry James always said it's better to know less about a historical event when you want to turn it into fiction (he was referring to his writing of "The Aspern Papers," I believe).
So, I stand corrected. But my story about Gordon the Genius, Wheelchair-Bound Blogger woulda been a good one!
TIIIIMMMMMYYYY!
if this is the gordon that graduated from granger high 1966 contact me. cdraper@utah.gov
I'm afraid not Mr Draper.
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