I'd like to introduce a couple of new quantities into the science of the workplace. Firstly, I'd like to define a quantity I term the wanker density. This is the number of wankers per capita of the workforce, and should be measured in parts-per-hundred (pph). For example, one might say that a place-of-work with a wanker density of 50pph has quite a high wanker density. In this context, I define a wanker-at-work to be an uncooperative, obnoxious or devious individual, prone to serving his/her own self-interest at the expense of others. Different workplaces, of course, will have different wanker densities, and the level of frustration encountered in working for a particular company is a function of the wanker density.
The second quantity I'd like to define is what I dub the committed effective resentment equivalent. This is defined analogously to the committed effective dose equivalent, which measures the cumulative dose of radiation received over a lifetime if a radionuclide is taken into the body. The committed effective resentment measures the cumulative resentment acquired by employees who stay at the same company for much of their working lifetime, and who, over those decades, deposit geological layers of resentment towards their employers and work colleagues. I propose that the SI unit of committed effective resentment be termed the twat. Thus, work colleagues who are only slightly unpleasant, but who, nevertheless, spend much of their time bitching about the way they've been treated, could be said to have, say, 20 twats of committed effective resentment. Other colleagues, who might be described as rogue employees, being obnoxious, devious, disruptive, provocative, and even prone to acts of downright sabotage, might be said to have about 500 twats of committed effective resentment.