Sunday, February 10, 2013

Descent to bathos

Whilst the odiferous obligations of life suggest a strictly utilitarian approach to bathroom use amongst much of the population, there are those of us who continue to resist the anxious, volatile, blinding spray of the shower-head, and stubbornly insist on prolonged semi-submergence in a liquid heat source as an opportunity for rest, relaxation, and consumption of excellent prose.

This sub-class of the population, however, has to endure a flagrant design flaw which besets many a bathroom, yet receives scant public attention. This, namely, is the tendency of negligent bathwrights to erroneously align the tap-end of the tub towards the centre of the bath-space. This places the reclined reader's head at the opposite end of the bath-axis, where illumination from the central, ceiling-located light source is typically inadequate.

Until bathwrights can be prevailed upon to mend their ways, there is, fortunately, an interim measure which can be undertaken: remove a large mirror from the hallway, and balance it on the junction between the bath and the ceramically tessellated wall; obtain a lofty chair, a long electrical extension cable, and place an anglepoise lamp on the chair, facing the mirror. This cunning configuration will provide the recumbent, heat-absorbent reader with an adequate level of reflected light, from which the world of the imagination can once more be accessed, and the stresses of the modern world temporarily dissolved. There is nothing which could possibly go wrong.


Susan's Husband said...

Have you considered waterproof LED strips? I wouldn't put them actually in the bath, but along the wall or edges might work well. The only downside is that the 12v power supplies tend to be pricey.

Gordon McCabe said...

It's an excellent idea.