Wednesday, April 04, 2007


It would clearly be impractical to celebrate the auditory and visual hallucinations of every schizophrenic in society. However, as a token reparation, we celebrate, on an annual basis, the 'resurrection' of an ancient Middle-Eastern David Icke figure, by consuming chocolate confections shaped to resemble the fertilised egg cells of birds. This has clearly confused Somerfield supermarket, who claimed yesterday that Easter was a celebration of the 'birth' of this ancient David Icke character. Somerfield claimed just before Christmas that the mean time at which family arguments break out on Christmas Day is 4:17pm. Yesterday, their latest survey suggested that "Brits are set to spend a massive £520 million on Easter eggs this year — but many young people don’t even know what Easter’s all about."

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