Jebus was an environmentalist!

Happy crucifixion day everyone! Now, I think the Bible has been somewhat mis-interpreted on the subject of the crucifixion. The key point to note is that Jebus died to atone for all the sins of mankind. This means not only those which had been committed up to that point, but the future sins of mankind as well. This must have included man's future greenhouse gas emissions, hence the crucifixion is simply a metaphor to represent all the various carbon offsetting schemes that Jebus established around Judaea and Galilee. This is why the Bible says that at the time of the crucifixion, the sun darkened and the earth shook. This is clearly a metaphor to represent climate change. It's also a little known fact that the journey of the Magi created more greenhouse gas emissions than a 747 trans-Atlantic flight. The Magi travelled by camel, and camels release an astonishing amount of methane, the equivalent of 1000g of CO2 per passenger kilometre. Jebus had to plant a small copse in Nazareth to offset these emissions alone.