Inventions week - Day 4

Scything relentlessly through the golden fields of mental chaff, and reaping a ripe harvest of swollen noogony, here are today's ideas:

• Yakultiated tap-water: Chlorine was introduced into the water supply some decades ago when it was established that chlorine is good for our teeth. Shortly afterwards, all dentists went out of business. In a similar vein, it has recently been established that Yakult replenishes the good bacteria in our tummies, improving digestive well-being. Hence, to enhance the gastrointestinal health of the nation, Yakult should be injected into the water supply.


• Seismic broadband: The Earth's crust and mantle is a much under-used communications medium. Tightly focused seismic waves could be used to rapidly transmit signals from one part of the world's surface to another. The digital encoding of information in seismic waves will enable broadband communication channels to be developed through the interior of the planet. A global seismic communications network will provide a back-up system in the event of satellite communications being disabled by electromagnetic pulse devices.