Monday, February 19, 2007

Transportologists discover expanding congestion zone

In a discovery set to revolutionise our understanding of personal mobility, transportologists have discovered today that the London congestion zone is expanding. Experts at the Centre for Rapidly Advancing government Prohibitions report that "London's congestion charge zone roughly doubled in size at 0700 GMT with a westward expansion," (

A variety of theories have already been put forward to explain this phenomenon. The most popular is 'dark government energy', which suggests that those in government dislike the personal independence and mobility provided by the motor car, and would prefer people to be bused around by the state, from locations chosen by the state, and according to timetables determined by the state. An alternative theory, 'environmental quintessence', suggests that such measures are necessary to alleviate environmental pollution and congestion.

At present the distribution of the congestion zone appears to be inhomogeneous, confined to certain regions of high population density. Computer simulations, however, already suggest that the seeds of congestion zones and road charging have been laid throughout the country, and that within a few years, this exotic form of government may become homogeneous.


Anonymous said...

I believe congestion zones are popping up all over the world. We banned HGVs from the centre of Dublin from today. Is that symptomatic? Have the experts underestimated the expansion westwards?

Gordon McCabe said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Gordon McCabe said...

Banning HGVs from city centres is a great idea. Not before time as well. Perhaps a tram-system would work well in Dublin, in the style of Amsterdam?